It’s hard remembering who you are

Oliver commented on the fact that I seem so happy on the blog:

‘Reading your blog one gets the impression that you are feeling pretty perky! Lots of awesomeness and Epicness… I am very pleased to hear it – even if I am wondering how my moody Scandi princess got replaced with a Californian teenage skate rat.’

It made me think how i get myself out of bad times and the way I act. I’ve done this before, had a period in my life that’s been unmanageable and things around me falling to pieces. Once i start feeling better it’s like I need to convince the world and myself that I’m all sunny smiles and happiness. I dont want anyone to worry about me.

I went down to Lund in dyed black and red hair looking like a lesbian punk rocker and came back 6 months later in baby blue sparkly shoes and brown locks refusing to even acknowledge the fact that I’m a moody one more prone to reading and thinking than partying and gossiping.

I can feel myself doing it again. Going from all black 80’s rock and roll chick to skirts and blouses. Not that there is anything wrong with it, I just want to make sure I can still look myself in the eyes in 6 months time and see that depressed prone person in me and if I dont try and hide her she might not feel the need of coming barging out when I least need it.

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