Run like your life depends on it

I told you I have started going to the gym again. After stopping completely when it all turned a little obsessive I have now decided to go 3 times a week. That feels ok.

Felt a bit crap this morning but decided to go anyway. Thats the first rule of training, dont make up excuses. So i dragged my tired ass over for a light lunch time session.

 A bit tired and unhappy (with a massive bosom) I started out on the tread mill.

And managed to do 5k in less than 30 min. It was a long time ago I could do that. I was always quite crap at going fast but this had both sprints and ending up at 11 km/h in there. Proud! I deserve a cheese and meat fiesta tonight.

Life finds a way

Yes, I keep running around like an over worked farm wife in the unexplored american middle west mid 19th century. I would say they have nothing on me.

Yesterday I left work early to take care of my man and my hound. Once home it was pouring down so we all died on the sofa for a bit before me and Wool could brave the weather. Before that I cooked us baked potato with the last of the lojrom from mum (it lasted for ages, there is even enough for a cheeky toast tonight)

Hound chillin. When it comes to running around in rain or sleep on the sofa, sofa ALWAYS win. Smart dog.

Oliver, mysteriously better, got ready to create another (probably horrendous) rendering of my face. New technique apparently.

Pre study of course. These things cant be taken lightly. Then followed an hour of staring blankly into space trying to not fall asleep and feeling bad for old time kings having to do this all the time. Some things have definitely improved.

And the result…

The love child of Sigourney Weaver and an alien. I think this might be a new low of a portrait of me.

My scarred ego went into the bed room and stole olivers picture. He is using this for a project but I just stole it right off (well, im pretty sure his will be better, at least better than my portrait…)

After this evening of hard work and profound art we went to bed. 2 seconds after turning off the light the mini squid came in. Sleeping between us always. We nee to fix that door, love him but doesnt necessary want a hairy monster in my bed every night.

At last, giving you some bluegrass to celebrate this Friday: Alan Jackson – Appalachian Mountain Girl

We might be dead by tomorrow

Sometimes I feel like Im over sharing after my therapy sessions but this is my space and the best thing about that is that I can do what i want. (maybe thats why you have a blog, a little space in time which is all yours and subject to your whims)

I went again yesterday. Knowing I had to make the day work I fell back into the safety of saying ‘everything is fine’ when asked how I felt but the good thing about an hour session talking is that you really get to the bottom if it is or not.

Things are ok. Not great but ok. The not great is mostly due to me being a bit stressed about weight again and trying to find the balance between diet and work out. which is always tricky for me. I go over board with everything and if it was up to my obsessive part I would eat too little and work out too much. My normal part takes over and try to regulate. Epic internal struggle.

We also talked about my problems with being ‘good’ vs ‘bad’. I feel like Im not good enough but at the same time I dream of giving in to being ‘bad’. Its so much easier. My ‘bad’ is the part of me that wants to party all night, drink and fuck up my relationship. The ‘good’ feels she needs to grow up.

Its hard for me that Oliver is always so ‘good’ (in my definition of the word). How can i ever compare with someone who per default doesn’t drink, loves working out and naturally lives the life of a grown up. Im always ‘bad’ to his ‘good’. (Confusing I know). It makes me want to dress in black and go about being ‘bad’ like a sullen child since I know I ace at that. It feels good being best at something.

Its helping. Looking at it all from the beginning and methodically go through it. Identify the triggers and know that they will always be there but learning how to live with them. I think that at 70 I will still dream of being ‘bad’ and find my brain revolting against being a good little old lady. I’ll be a rock and roll queen in my dreams while tending to my garden.

Images from withlovelisa

Being Super Woman

Oliver is still sick and poor Wool is bored out of his mind. To add to it Ol strained his neck this morning and are bedridden feeling very sorry for himself.

Me, Im realizing exactly how tricky it is to have a dog when you are working (note to self, don’t get dog unless you have a freelance partner and if you do, don’t let him get sick.) Yesterday I took Wool out in the morning, went to work, gym during lunch, straight to therapy after work and then home to cook Ol dinner. I felt like super woman. Today im opting for just dog walking, work, second dog walk and dinner making.

Yesterday’s hearty meal. Sausage, red wine and lentil stew. A one pot wonder. Apparently Fiona is going to telephone slap me since Im not feeding Ol enough. Being on a minimum carb diet and Oliver tending to eat what I do I get blamed for his skinny appearance. I cant help that guy burn of calories as quickly as my dog go through the hommous on a picnic blanket.

The end result. Hearty and stodgy. Guess it was what I needed after my super woman day.

Me heart Damson

I keep coming back to Fiona’s site Damson but they have such lovely stuff. Most of my actual nice jewellery are from there and every time I have a look I want more.

Look at some of this stuff

 A dog lovers charm bracelet. Oh yes. If I were rich I would give it to Agnes. Im not.

Imagine being a forest queen wearing these. Or an elf. Or going to work feeling a bit like both of that.

 Love this pretty ring. Make me dream of a vintage, powder pink dress and sunshine.

Me doing the slightly more rock and roll look. This necklace is just as awesome as it looks and made of like a 1000 rubber rings. Im also rocking those hoops from above. You can skip the whole forest queen thing and just be a smoking rock and roll babe.

Killed myself when i was young

Oliver is home sick so I got my ass straight home from work to cook him (or honestly, it was more for me) a garlic and ginger topped dinner. Abel and Cole had worked its magic again and we had chicken, portobello mushroom and black tomatoes. Oh yes!

It might not look much to the world but it was really tasty.

A hit of colour in the rain. Its foul out at the moment and Woolly and me are equally miserable when I have to walk him. Our friend, the 10 month old Labrador Milly, kept running us ragged this morning. The exciting life of a dog owner take 15

The little sick-y. Sitting at home reading about bouldering. Only up about being bed ridden. (well, i would never read about bouldering but catch up a bit on my vampires). Reading a pretty epic book at the moment – John Irvings ‘A prayer for Owen Meany’. Get on it my holidaying friends – great for the beach.

My little squid. So miserable about the weather but pretty happy about Ol being in bed all day. Means that he can just cuddle up with him. Win. And steal his food when he is too weak to fend for himself. Double win.

Let’s go outside

It was a lovely weekend. The weather was so so but it didnt do anything when I got to hang around with friends in London.

On Friday evening met up with Lollo in Soho and had an interesting hour meeting some of Londons finest in the bars of Soho. We had someone spill beer on us, got some seriously weird pick up lines thrown our way and realized that no one wins by drinking jagerboms. We were both pretty happy to leave when Oliver came and saved us and we headed to Andrew Edmunds for dinner. A tip for anyone who is looking for delicious, not too expensive food in Soho.

After dinner a drink at Tiki bar and then we gave up on this night. Prett amazeballs to end up in bed at midnight.

Saturday morning came with this epic breakfast. Omelette on farm eggs and mango. Oh yes!

Ol and Wool had a very mutual consent cuddle. No doubts here.

After a slow morning and a walk in the park I headed to Clapham to meet up with Tommy for lunch. We started with a Bloody Mary and the chicken wings and rum. There somewhere it went from lunch to ‘lets drink our way through the bar and not the same drink twice’

Jagerboms. (remember what I say about that earlier. Goes for us as well…) we drank way too much and watched the Champions League final. Awesome to hang with my Tommy though. Next time we need to go easier on the booze.

Sunday was a non day. Oliver went out, I stayed in bed. he came back with this very acid gift for me. That fixed me right up (oh well).

Since it was bank holiday Monday was off as well and we decided to clean out the fridge of the last Abel and Cole stuff. Lunch was squash with rosemary and chilli garlic broccoli. Yes! later we made dinner on lamb and new potatoes.

I watched Vampire Academy with my hound while Oliver finished Moby Dick. Only took him 6 months. That book is like Ahab’s chase for the white whale, you just never get to the end.

Took the monkey out for a morning walk since Ol is feeling crap. We played with a stick. Doing pilates for lunch and that is today’s training done. Im on a ‘at least 3 days a week’ schedule at the moment. Going well (only 2nd week though)

It’s all to play for

Met Kirsten for dinner last night. To our horror we realized its been almost a year since last time. That is way too long. By far.

We went to this amazing little restaurant called Barnyard. The food was simple but delicious and lets not talk about their cocktails…

Broccoli, corn on the cob and potatoes and in the bag corn bread is hidden. One happy Kirsten loving her corn bread.

Lamb with mint sauce. Dont mind if I do.

In true London hipster style they had decorated with a white picket fence and all the waiters were bearded men in flannel shirts. They were nice though and the food not too expensive so well worth checking out.

My epic dessert. Popcorn ice cream with smoky fudge sauce. That was absolutely delicious. Good thing im going to the gym today.

Met my man on the way home and we shared the tube home with a bag of eggs from Miranda. I know what ill be eating this weekend…

Took the hound out for an early morning walk to give Ol some time to work. He found a log twice the size of him. Exciting.

Tonight meeting Lollo for dinner in Soho and thats the start of the bank holiday weekend. Only plans are in London but it looks like we will be spending our time between birthday parties and BBQs. Sounds pretty good to me.

Broken memories

2 things happened yesterday that was less than pleasant. First I came home to Wool having left me a gift on the carpet in the living room – a half eaten garden snail. He looked mighty proud.

Then Oliver accidentally smashed one of my Orrefors bowls I got for my graduation and one of few things I took over from Sweden. That’s the 2nd of my things form Sweden he accidentally smashed (I might see a pattern here, I know he doesn’t want to move to Sweden…). With all the things that broke on the way over from Sweden I have less and less of my Swedish things left to remind me.

I rocked my boat emotionally. I know its just things but its also memories from Sweden. Having spent an hour talking about Sweden, how I found it hard to reconcile in my head that I wont move back and how much I miss family and friends it all became a bit much.

Oliver hugged me and it passed. But this morning I avoided looking at the shards.

Wool doing his ‘I pretend im not interested in your food so that you will give me the left overs’. Works like a charm

Do It Again

Oh yes, you see what I see (dont think about how utterly crap a picture it is)…I went to the gym yesterday (and it has a climbing wall) and then again this morning. First time in probably a year. Hell yeah! After my slight crazed gym thing there for a while (9 times a week isn’t normal) I decided to lay low. Maybe a bit too low. So low that I no longer fit any of my clothes.

So, I am back on it. And what a lovely gym it is. We are subsided from work otherwise I would never be able to afford i. Its got a pool and spa area, the climbing wall, a DJ playing the floor music and the locker rooms are lovely. Good place to start when you are getting back on it.

Other people being good. I mostly farted around but felt so healthy after my 20 min running I immediately started making plans about my new fit me. I have a bit to go.

Oliver made dinner. Might look like dagismat but it was nice. Pork, fennel and courgette meatballs in a tomato sauce with cabbage and pepper salad. Healthy for new me (never mind the popcorn we had after. That is a super food I am told)

GoT and sleepy Wool. Why not.