Thoughts and ponders

We were home last night. Talked about the future and the things that scare and excite us. Creating a life together isn’t always easy and especially when one of you have left their home country and the other one is trying to carve out a freelance career.

At least we have each other. And our dog. He slept happily between us for our serious talks.

It was sunny when I walked to work yesterday. Sunny and summery. I want to lay in sun chair reading right now but it wont be much of that this summer, mostly work and then the big Burning Man bang.

This morning I walked the doggie in the park and tried to book a class at the gym. It was fully booked so im trying to convince myself to go there and just run or something. Cant really motivate myself. I kind of need to though, I have promised myself a summer body and its pretty far off.

Food and dreams

Love these pictures from my phone. Again, the less perfect version of the holiday but not less true.

Waiting in Evesham. We missed the connection. Nothing much to do in this tiny english town. Nice light at least.

Olivers dinner after the first day. We ate so much. You are allowed. Yummy. Local sausage. Shame what they do with the vegetables though. English style

When we came to place nr 3 scones were waiting for us in the room. Seriously, I think I must have willed that in to existing by all my wishing. Perfect.

Oliver climbing (almost, he just wanted a picture of him looking cool)

Tired monkeys on the way home. Wool was very tired of being on the train so the only way to quiet him was to hold him down in your lap.

Ol gave me a flower, or, I bought it but he gave me a picture of it. A romantic that guy.

The Big Walking Holiday

I survived our walking holiday in Wales. Aching all over but not worse for wear. We walked almost 70k all in all up and down mountains and under blazing sun through fields with sheep and cows. It was lovely. We were in the Hay valley and walked the Black Mountains. Got to see Llanthony Priory and enjoy the food of Pandy. Pretty epic weekend.

First place we stayed, the Stables in Hay on Wye. These 4 sweet oldies shared breakfast with us and gave us a few tips and tricks to survive our surroundings.

The start of our first day 22k walk. Used as I am to London walking I though 22k would be an at most 4 hour walk. I was wrong. Apparently its slightly different when you are walking up and down mountains.

Oliver was prepared as always. Ready with compass to make sense of the map. Good thing since it was well needed.

At least i had prepared by buying practical hiking shoes. Too bad they were a bit small when my feet started bloating in the heat and after 2 hours they were pinching my toes like f**k. But who am i to complain (dont ask Ol about that)

Here on our way to the big ascend up Hay’s Bluff. Might not looks so mighty here but it was a proper clambering up the mountain.

Needed an ice cream to give us some mountain climbing energy.

We did it! I was pretty impressed with my (very unfit) self.

On the walking description it just said ‘walk along the mountain top for 10k’. So we did.

The views were amazing. Like a Lilliput land. Or the Shire. I felt a bit like the Lord of the Rings, especially since it was called the Black Mountain. No orchs though. But mini, mostly wild, ponies kept grazing the grass.

Our goal. The Llhantony Priory.

Pretty cool. Even more fantasy feeling.

After 6 hours we were all pretty knackered. Especially my little hound. I think he hated us there for a bit.

Day 2. We slept like babies after the biggest dinner of chips, sausage and cottage pie. And local cider of course.

The sun was blazing down and we had a valley day in front of us. Poor Woolly is trying to pretend he doesnt exist in the hope that all of this would just go away. It didnt.

More views, more dreaming of saving the world like a hobbit. Even more dreaming I had hobbit feet since they seem so sturdy and impossible to destroy. Not like mine.

Taking a break in the sun. Needed. It was hot this day and I started wilting toward the end of the day.

But we made it and ended up at White Hayward Farm. A proper farm and we were staying smack middle in it.

The food in the restaurant was from their own animals. Yes, you see me eating one of the moo’s. Very tasty. 

Oliver opted for Black pudding. Probably made of the blood from my Moo.

Wool was so over the whole thing. Dreaming of London Im sure. Whats up with these crazy humans.

Day 3 we started by climbing a very windy hill. Wool thought things couldnt get any worse. They did. His hair got all ruffled and he had to be on the lead for the risk of him taking off after some sheep’s down the mountain side

Another day of epic views.

Very windy! For second there I thought id just fall over and tumble down the side. But I survived. Good huh.

Walking along a very skinny ridge you definitely felt like king of the world.

Last picture. Flowers and sunny. The easy side of the whole thing. Only 5 hours travel time and we were home. Wool dive bombed the sofa and we ordered home delivery. Thank you Wales, it was lovely but im all done now.

If anyone is looking for something similar we used Drover Holidays. They had fixed everything beautifully and took care of all the logistics for us. The only thing we needed to do was show up and walk.

When I’m dreaming of you

I had my second session with my therapist yesterday. Its pretty emotionally draining. She warned me that everything can get worse before it gets better. Im glad that im doing this during summer so after am hour of talking about things that’s buried pretty deep (for a reason) I can get out into the warm streets and smell the trees. It helps.

When I came home Oliver had cooked me dinner (he is amazing). Venison with asparagus and a shallot and blueberry sauce. Yes, it was pretty fucking epic.

You have to love a Wednesday

Yesterday was full on from start to end. Came in to a last minute thing that needed full focus at work and then off to a mobile presentation. Day ended with a beer with current colleagues and then goodbye dinner for danish Anna who moved back to Denmark today. She will be missed.

Yesterdays Abel and Cole delivery. Do you see what I see? Yup, venison minute steaks. Cant wait for dinner tonight.

Ja!

I know I go on about them but im very impressed by their CRM system. When signing up I told them Tomlins referred us. As a thank you we got an Olive Oil (and they got their next box for free). What impressed me what that it didnt say anywhere that you would get this, it came as very pleasant surprise. We also got free eggs and a cookbook.

After stressful day and boring mobile presentation cider. Pretty awesome.

Walked down to Fox and Hounds to meet the crew. It always make me very happy seeing that band of misfits.

I And Love And You

On Friday I skipped the company bingo last minute and went home to my little family instead. Anti social and nice. Me in a nut shell these days.

Oliver made chicken awesomeness.

I combined 2 of the 3 pink jobs and bought flowers and lit candles. My job for the week is done. We probably watched a movie after this. Or just read. Standard evening at home.

On Saturday I performed my last pink job and made breakfast. On a roll this weekend. Hope Oliver enjoys my huge efforts (might mention that blue jobs consist of picking up Woollys poo, taking out the garbage, doing everything practical. I won)

After a walk in the rain I started working on my Eurovision outfit. Im the polish singer. Pretty close.

Just a snippet from the evening worth showing. I like these kind of colleague relationships.

A russian chillin with his doggie

I styled my hang over. Dont ask me how. But i was fine the next day. Something has changed man. Not that im complaining.

The Chanel hair. Minus plat. Not office friendly. On Sunday we walked the doggie and met Kix and Tompa for a play around in the park. and that folks were my weekend. Exciting huh.

Eurovision 2014

Saturday night was Elin’s by far most important night of the year – Eurovision! The party had been planned for month and everyone had to dress up as one of the competing countries and bring a beverage and food from that country. That was one interesting dinner. My plate consisted of gherkins (my polish contribution), waffles with brown cheese, cinnamon bun and blini.

Tommy was Austria. Oh yes, he did it. Very lady like and full of grace. Garth rocked Island with the face of Bjork and even Spain were represented with a very cute looking flower and apron. 

Score cards. Important. Especially when you get drunker. Hard to keep track of things otherwise.

Poland, Russia and Norway. Oliver in my tights, scarf and hat. And his musketeer beard.

The perfect couple. If only they could get married like this. I surely hope Elin have a Eurovision themed wedding. That would be beyond epic.

Elias made waffles with norwegian brown cheese. For the first time ever I actually liked that brown cheese that plagued my childhood. How could you have missed to show me that Dad if you wanted me to like it?

Elin kept spirits high bu giving us comments on all acts and making sure no one forgets to score the songs. Even Oliver got kind of in to it (I will keep that against him for all time)

Mid way through I abandoned ship to do something way more important. Hot Shots! According to the bearded lady they are austrian. Must say they paint a striking picture in skull shot glasses.

Elias and Teiji didnt know what hit them (especially with Tommy putting on a lid of cream). A fine way of celebrating the win of the bearded lady! Winning shot, winning song.

Once the competition was done Garth abandoned ship on Iceland and went straight for Miley Cyrus and some twerking. Who wants to be Bjork when you can be Miley? True that.

Denmark and Norway showing the strength of the Nordics (no one was Sweden. Fail). Yes, Anthony is a lego head. Genius. And also very scary. (very, very scary. Lego is apparently a bit like clowns on the scare factor. Who knew?)

Harry represented his own country. You go boy! Here seen sweet talking the ladies. He is like the slightly less rugged version of Tommy I first met in Ibiza. Awesome.

Three black clad fashion crows and one trouser less Miley. Every party need one of those.

Oliver had to try the winning outfit. Weirdly enough it suits him. Almost sexy. Hm.

Told you! Very scary!

All the guys concluded that high heels are lethal to walk in and an absolute torture instrument. I blame them. They are the fashion world who dictates what we normal business people wear. (even if I had to explain to Anthony why my chanel (apparently) looking braid with fake hair and fabric in just doesnt work at my office. ‘but it looks like chanel’. Well, my office wouldn’t know that if it came and bit it in the ass)

Yes. There are some zubrowka, hots hots and just plain sex in those eyes.

The best about a dress up party is the endless supply of dress changes. The night never gets boring since you can simple re invent and feel like its all started fresh. Think Elin went through 8 outfits.

Selfie. Every Eurovision party worth it name need a couple of those.

Winding down. When the glassy eyed discussions start you know its…

…time to go home. 2 in the morning we git our tired asses home and dive bombed the bed. Pretty great night.

#kixcooks

Went to see Kix yesterday. And Tumpen. He is in London for some fancy model thing. Kix is snowed under with studies and work so it was nice seeing here. She cooked me dinner.

…

#kixcooks

Kix have been trying to convince me that she is now a pretty decent chef…Well, she cooked me kids food. Korv Stroganoff is epic and this plate has the true wiff of school canteen.

For dessert it was canned fruit…

…out of a big plastic box. Move over nobel dinner chefs.

Tump! I have decided to sign up to his online PT coaching before summer. Check it out. I will be well buff before summer. He is an amazing coach so im sure even i will come away liking lifting weights.

And Ziglet. Sumer quality time with this little guy. When I came home Wool couldnt stop sniffing me, he knew id been two timing him.

Gorgeous little hound. He is such an old grandpa that he has already started getting grey hairs at 2.

When It Was Dark

I went to my first therapy session yesterday. Ever. It was long overdue. I was met by this lovely older lady who instantly made me feel safe and at home. Like the grandmother I never had.

We decided to start CAT therapy. It stands for Cognitive Analytical Therapy and basically means you look at your past and your present and try and identify the reasons and triggers for certain behaviors and thoughts. All throughout you work together on this which i think will suit me since I like feeling like im doing something practical about the problem, not just talking.

It was hard this first session. I talked about what happened to me over the last couple of years when everything went crazy but also about the previous times in my life Ive been going trough minor depressions. My first memory of feeling empty and grey is the age of 7 and since then I have been battling with it.

As I said, long overdue.

It stirs up all the things Im trying not to let into my life. The anger and frustration I would never acknowledge until moving to London and it took over. The people I miss and the sadness i sometimes feel. The realization that some people did see when i was younger. That the German teacher i hated cared when she came and asked me if I needed help since my teachers had noticed that my grades kept dropping and i pull into myself during certain times a year.

I wonder if things would have been different if I would have felt I deserved that help and not just shrugged it away with ‘its not like im sick or anything’.

Im hoping this will help me find a way of dealing with these feelings that is a part of me and make me into the best version of myself before I have a family and unconsciously start affecting my own kids with the things I haven’t dealt with.

All images from withlovelisa

Only Love Can Break Your Heart

The best thing about having a photographer for a boyfriend is that he takes such lovely pictures of our life. When I mass produce for the blog he takes really amazing ones. Good combo I would say.

Look, I was also there during the weekend. Drinking beer and handling my dog. Standard.

Artsy. I also saw this tree but left it to Oliver. We share the images equally. He takes depressing, artsy pictures and I take drunken ones of people. Works like a charm.

What you cant see is the calculation in my eyes realizing that we have waded through mud for 30 min in the wrong direction and now have to go back again hoping that we can just skip through the crops taking the easy way. We couldnt. There was a farmer with a rifle guarding it.

There is nothing to make you dream of living constantly next to an evergreen hedge in a white, flowy dress like this light.

Woolsey! I never knew poodles could be this big, burly and awesome.

Mexican culture meeting english country side.

The barn. From my pictures you didnt get the space of the place. It was huge and amazing.

Beer and dog. Again.

Love how happy they are. I think its the tequila…