When your dreams stop you know your mind is trying hard not to exist

Another day done. Yes, im keeping track. Another night of 5 hour sleep. Im starting to look like an old tramp. Ive decided to not be alone for a bit though. Apparently thats bad for you. I cant see how sitting on the sofa crying and reading soft porn about Scottish highlander could ever be bad for you but they say it is.

Im bad being on my own. Im nordic gloomy. Left to my own my mind goes bananas. I dont like me very much if i think too much. I definitely dont like my choices. So im planning to pinballing myself between friends. Until ill collapse in exhaustion. Probably around Sunday.

Going out with Unibet crew tomorrow. Tommy is my wing man. He is sending me pepping texts about how awesome I am, how much fun we will have this summer, how we will laugh in the face of life in 20 year when we sit on a beach drinking cocktails being happy we narrowly escaped being tied down and instead travel the world. I need that. I need someone who keeps reminding me ITS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT.

(yes, im trying very hard to see the positives here. Dont mind that slightly forced tone. You do what you have to do to survive. In the light of my latest reading habit (seriously, scottish highlander might even be better than vampires) i feel like Braveheart screaming Freedom (well, he died but i will survive screaming ‘Ill be fucking alright’ from the top of my lungs))

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