Things you do when inte haspen är på

Not only did I get to hang with my girls on Midsummer, the weekend prior to that they were doing a semi sunny London and making me think that maybe after all I could do this weird, expensive and wonderful city. Who knows.

With the return of the camera came some sweet pics from that weekend too.

Our national day picnic in Hyde Park. I already told you about the kids trying to steal our balloons. Bastards. Good thing we are big strong Vikings owning these puny englishmen.

 Vikings drinking hard core stuff like Peroni and Cider. Bad ass.

This girl! Pretty damn amazing. If I could pick them up and move them to London I wouldn’t want for anything more (well, maybe a flat and a boyfriend and a drivers license.)

 Peter had to do an Erik and survive with the girls for a weekend. A couple of years ago when we were all singles poor Erik had to do this all the time. His survival instinct was to stop listen and think about football. Smart guy.

Elin and the little princess. She skipped the snaps (clever) but it all worth it to have her come hang out.

 Interior at Bodega Negra. Like something out of Astrid Lindgren. Weirdly appropriate. All grown ups want to have cocktails in the fairy tales of our childhood. At least me.

 We dont only strike poses for Midsummer. You could say that Sanna is a bit of a linslus. But hey, she gets away with it.

 Peter and me rocking Peters stiff smile. You can tell who is the natural at that.

 Ja, ja  ja. Its mega sunny today and this pic makes me ant to go out and have cocktails in the sun. Wonder of my boss would mind.

Hell yeah! Coolest kids on the block. Any trendy wendy nightclub would dream to have us. They just need to understand that. One day.

Midsummer 2015 – the year of looking balling

My camera i back! I lost it at Midsummer (might be the fact that I ran out of there being chased by the angst monster.) but PP brought it back for me.

So, the pictures? Lets put it this way. Since we gave the photo books this year we kept yelling ‘think about the photo book’ every time someone took a picture. Never have we looked so absolutely ridiculous… If looking at the book thinking that previous years we look pretty good. Well, not so much 2015.

Here it is in all its glory. Rainy, cold, drunken, uglifying 2015

Before. We can see that Sanna is setting the trend for where this will go. Hey ho. A couple of more beers and off we go.

It poured down. All day. At least some balloons are trying to brighten up the place. Good thing its big enough to sit inside. And that we had beers. And the best midsummer music list

Erik had sacrificed a Denise Rudberg book for seating. That made for some good tant snusk reading between snaps.

Gearing up to create a better party than last year. The combination of rain, loads of snaps and being stuck inside worked wonders. Erik, you can be proud of your friends – we still got it.

 I had Roger next to me. I tried my hardest to make him into Robban. He is my spirit animal.

Peter reading about hertz and schmertz and Sofia doing her ‘look good for the book’ pose. This is serious business. We will never know how the lives of the privileged at Ostermalm truly is unless we take notes from this book. #truefact

The standard drinking snaps picture. You are not a proper Swede without it. And at Eriks you take this serious. The general wont let anyone slack on the Midsummer traditions.

Me working hard on luring out Robban. Everyone knows they (the Robbans) are best caught by any kinds of alcohol. Rose straight from the box have proved successful in the past.

 ‘Look good for the book’. Yes please.

Tompa was back! We had missed you. No sleving in bastun but who cares when you get to sit next to this Midsummer angel. Right Maggie?

 Book pose. Yes but no but yes.

Try stop looking like a 14 year old kid. Nope. I reverted back. Single again I decided to shed about 20 years. Plus the alcohol. There is no losing in that combination.

 Taking a break (or book posing. Hard to tell this Midsummer 2015 – the year of looking balling)

Going through the pictures of previous years. Since everything between lunch and waking up the morning after tend to be a blur its good (?) to be able to get a glimpse of what actually goes on

 I hear you Sanna. More dancing, less sitting.

I think that i instantly go for the arms out, flying pose (yes, that a pose, havent you seen it on the red carpet) when someone says Book Pose. #sorrynotsorry

 YES! Not only did I bring out Robban I also totally hit it off with his girlfriend.

Book pose! This is a keeper my friends. In 20 years we will think ‘hot damn’ and i is. HOT DAMN!

So, a group of us left and went to Bosses. When we came back we found this. A table full of booze, crisps and some weird ass games going on. Good work holding the fana high when we were away.

 Sanna – HOT DAMN! #bookpose

Told you. The year of the amazeballs poses. Anyone look good on Midsummer they say. Swedes are so pretty they say. #notlikemycrew

Fabio – im ready for whatever it is you are trying to tell us. Mr Parma Ham ill trust you as far as i can throw you and that is pretty far.

Who says sitting inside in June is boring? Those guys havent had an unending amount of snaps to fall back on. Or my girls. My girls are pretty much the best. Just saying.

Eh yes! Book pose Lasse. I think we all have some to learn from this man. Mostly that all girls love Southern comfort.

This might look like a break from the party but then you havent been drinking with Lasse. I spent it discussing FI with Lelle. And drinking southern comfort. More feminist should do that, you get instantly 5 times smarter. And what a munläder.

Did I tell you we were happy Tompa was back?! Especially me who got to share a bed. I did wake up very close to a man i want sure who it was but then i looked over and saw it was the Midsummer angel and it felt fiiiine.

Bonding. I wish I could say we were talking about something but im pretty sure we didnt. But sometimes you dont need that, you can speak the language of…booze.

Dad, impressed that your daughter is ALWAYS the one on the chairs/tables/sofas/shelves if i can fit? Good, thought so. #greatgenepool

 Who says white men cant dance? Those guys havent seen the epicness that are snapsfylla.

 Oh hello. Someone decided to aim for sexy for his book pose.

 Me too!

 Yes, you boys are frekking awesome and you know it. Im not sure once a year is really enough.

Damn you too, even while singing you look kind of perfect. #maybethatsanevenbettergenepool

If i were a gangster I would want this to be my crew. No one would dare to mess with Alex The Dare Devil Dancer and Sanna The Stare Wendti.

 Just because.

Late night dancing. Even if this might not be the actual moment it reminds me of when the lads stood arm in arm in the swim suits singing ‘All by myself’ to me. That is true friendship – 9 parts love and 1 part merciless teasing.

I end with a lovely picture of Negar ti show that we (she) can look normal and sweet on Midsummer as well.

Since we always are pretty rocking here is previous years Midsummers. Enjoy!

Hat weekend

Hello Monday! You greet me with sun. Nice. Or smutt as we say in Sweden. In less than a week im on my way to Prague with my sister. Adore summer.

But first, here’s the weekend.

On Friday headed to Wimbledon with Tom. It was a pretty quiet affair. We drank loads of G&T and Tom spent the entire night making fun of me. He does that a lot. Mercilessly.

We ended the night at Burger King. He treated me. No one takes care of me like Tom. If I could only marry that guy I would be taken to BK and plied with double G&T most every day.

On Saturday i looked this fresh despite all that drink and food. I started the morning with cleaning my bathroom (dont ask) and then headed out to meet up with the Tomlins that came west for once.

We ended up at the Dove by the river. Tom was on a diet and not drinking alcohol. That lasted for about 2 seconds and then he went and bought a bottle of prosecco. Go big or go home.

On Sunday was another hat day. I took my dog and headed down the river. It started raining as soon as I left the house. Good thing i had a hat.

Me and the monster on the sofa watching the eminent series Sense8. Love all of that weird sci fi shit. I have finally moved past anime and manage to look at real people. Big step.

Todays tune: Whats up?

Party Lights

Went our with work for a drink last night. Few things are better than cider on these never ending summer nights. Lisa and Dan came by and we talked and drank until the sun went down.

There was a lot of office gossip going around. Im always so oblivious and know nothing and remembers even less of what people actually tell me. At Unibet I had Tom to update me on what was going on, we would eat lunch once a month just for me to get an update. Then i forgot it as quickly. I don’t care much what people are up to but I love being told.

So yeah, gossiping and laughing and LIVING. When you’ve been ‘me, sofa, robe, baked beans’ sad those first twinges of LIFE is so wonderfully amazing. Everything is heightened with 100%. You are  happy in a ‘I own the world’ kind of way.

I even got some late night summer kisses in an alley up against a wall. I think the world is powered on those.

Today i felt like this though. So worth it.

This years best summer song: Sun is shining

Mini A

Had some down time with this little dude yesterday. His mum got to hang with us too. We are nice like that. Mostly because she takes cares of Alex’s body and my soul. She might be feeding mini A but I have to cook my own dinner. Standard.

I made her, me and Robin omelet, stroked Ziggy so he almost felt like a real boy again and offered up my home when they become homeless. I felt like a pretty good friend after all.

Today Thursday. Almost weekend. That means drinks and summer and fancy clothes and something that might be the merest hint of a tan. Woop.

Impressed yet?

I made a very healthy, pretty thought through dinner last night. Since i still have A&C i find myself  cooking even if Im only doing it for myself. A least im past the cold baked beans phase (almost, I tend to fall right back into it when im hanging, sad or just tired – a lot of the time in other words).

A very green and healthy dinner. And before this I did yoga. All to try and clean this old body of mine.

But, as you can see, I also had a healthy amount of butter on the mushrooms and then ended dinner with some sweets. A tiger never loses his stripes.

Tada! Dinner greatness.

Tonight heading to Kix wondering what ill get served. You never know in that household. Kix is my one social thing this week, feels simultaneously good and kind of lonely. Ol is stealing the dog this weekend as well so I wonder what ill do with all that time.

Lullabies for barflies

Its been 3 months since we broke up and my calendar tell me that its time to stop crying and start living. I’m not sure why 3 months felt like the magic number but in my first week I remember thinking that by then it should all be a little easier.

It is. Everything is easier than that first week. I don’t feel like i lost half of myself and Woolly and me sleeps soundly next to each other every night. I’ve even seen one or two boys making my stomach do back flips. I know in my heart this is the best that could happen for Oliver and me.

I survived these three first months. I got through crying and not sleeping. My skin has cleared up and my hair is back to normal. I no longer dream of being raped and killed every night. I have stopped listening to my sad music list and i don’t get panic attacks when i get home to the empty flat. I have laughed like I meant it and danced with people I love. I manage on my own.

But, things are still shaky. Of the less obvious kind. I get too drunk when i drink. I’m scared of meeting someone new, of risking my heart. I don’t dare to take any decisions, afraid that they’ll make me sad again. I want to turn to Ol with everything even if he is not mine. I’m angry at myself and the world for me being here. I’m jealous of my friends having what i want and I feel very alone. I still watch anime and do nothing.

3 months. I have stopped crying but I’m not fully living yet. I’m not sure I can. The thought of meeting someone, caring, feels very far away. I need to defrost and dare. I need to meet someone that makes me smile from my toes and gets my skin tingling. Even if its only for a little while.

Tick tock

I got myself a watch for the first time since i was well, 15 maybe. I stopped using a watch when the mobile phones came and because i have a tic were i end up checking my watch ALL THE TIME.

But, saw this beauty and couldn’t stop myself. Love it. And maybe I need to grow up enough to actually wear a watch. I forgot it today though. Baby steps.

Otherwise not much. I keep thinking about moving back, Im definitely leaning against it. I keep wondering what im doing here in London now that Ol and me are no longer together. I cant see myself living here for the rest of my life so why stay? Well, I have until August to decide.

I work in time lines at the moment. Because of the last years inability to take any decisions I have now started to give myself deadlines for when I need to make some kind of decision or move on. My 3 months after Ol is over as of yesterday. From now on I need to be at least open to dating (i said I would actively seek it out but Tinder, come on). And August is my ‘should i stay or go home’ deadline. I also have an October deadline for a new job if I stay.

So yeah, basically life is very likely to be turned completely on its head with new country, new job and hopefully new relationship. No wonder i feel like I need to gather some energy.

Midsummer 2015

Safe back in London after yet another Midsummer. This one was a cold, rainy and windy affair but also late night dancing in the sauna and interesting political discussion with the golden oldies (yeah, I was talking FI with 60+ business men).

Lost my camera (its been found, praise the Lord) it will have to do with stolen pictures from the day in the wait for my cameras safe return to London with PP this weekend. 

Because of the weather we sat inside. That didn’t stop the snaps drinking, singing and general mayhem. I refused to acknowledge the weather and was wearing a very midsummery, all white outfit. (Maybe not the smartest being out in the mud on one of the rainiest days of the year.)

After lunch it was time for dancing around the pole (I sat this one out, tiny ballerinas arent made for mud dancing) and then we were supposed to just hang around until dinner because it was ‘too wet for boat’. Fuck that shit said the viking in our crew and headed to Bosse anyway.

Maggie and me braved the weather and showed up to at least say hi to the kids and drink some champagne. You cant diss the traditions, even if its bad weather.

Pep talk. ‘This can be done tiny people’ says the appropriately dressed Fredrik (yeah, i know i look pretty well done in my red rain coat, its Alex’s though and from their new horror movie Alana. So basically, im wearing a murderer rain coat. Sweet!

But, it was pretty beautiful at one point (this might have been the day before, cant remember it looking like this).

After Bosse we had dinner, danced on the sofas, went to the sauna and danced until it became light again.

The day after i woke up with so much hung over angst I just couldnt stay so Maggie and Fredde drove me back to the country house. That was for the best. I literally woke up feeling like I was going to suffocate – combination of too much alcohol, sadness and being on my own.

Instead i had 2 days at this beautiful place eating delicious food,  hanging with La Familia, getting some sun and generally recuperating.

Sun is shining

Here is Sandras story about how your heart can break if you drink too much Midsummer. I think mine kind of survived for most of the laughing, talking, dancing part but I just couldn’t do it the day after, then you need you parents and safety.

Up, up and away

Im off to Sweden today for Midsummer. It will be another rainy, 10 degrees affair but who cares when there is a never ending supply of beer and snaps. I had a plan to try and find glow sticks for this years sauna dance but i haven’t been able to hunt any down. Ill give it a last try today. We need to prove to those youngsters we still got it!

W was generally quite unhappy with me yesterday after me packing so he did all he good to mess up me making the bed this morning. Little naughty monster. he should be happy, Ol will be staying in the flat over the weekend.

Sayonara people, see you (hopefully) back in one piece after Midsummer