Bad Blood

Thursday drinks again. This is a tradition that might be killing me. Me, Jakob, Miles, Mel and Jason went to The Warwick again and i think I counted about 8 rounds.

J and me spent the morning walking in alternatively dreaming of laying in a pool drinking virgin cocktails and talking about being lousy people for being massively hung over on a thursday.

The boys long after it went very foggy and both Mel and Jason had left us. Need to learn how to leave. It isnt necessary staying out to the bitter end EVERY time.

Miles helping some 17 year old boys were they should be going to meet girls. 17. Thats half my age.

I’m no good with drinking at the moment. There is a lot of anger about well, everything, and it comes out when im drunk. Im all hard edges. You know when the jokes arent funny any longer but borderline mean. And i dont want to be mean. I say things i definitely shouldnt. But, I get so bored I want to shoot myself when im just home alone.

I need holiday and a break from myself. I hope Spain can be a well needed pause from London and this life that doesnt seem to work very well for me at the moment.

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