Paris dreams

In Paris living the French dream. Ish. On the plus side – delicious food, cool offices, a beer or two with Sven last night and the cutest hotel ever. 

On the down side – a urine tract infection in my kidneys and the antibiotics only tonight. It’s been an interesting first week in pain. A political hornets nest in the office and A LOT to do (with said UTI making me not on my A game) and France being royally pissed off at UK for brexit. Never have a flagged my Swedishness more. 
All in all, pretty good. And want that medicine. 

Dinner for one last night. Living the Parisienne dream. Then Sven saved me from a lonely night at the hotel. 

My basically still screaming steak. Yes please. 

Free sweeties and soft drinks at my hotel. Knowing how to sweet talk weary travelers. 

Below today’s lonely lunch. Not very Amelie. Missing the wine and the book and the sexy French guy. But, heading home to my own bearded, hot guy so I’m fiiiiine. 

Back where I belong

Finally back in London and this time in for the long haul. So damn happy to be back, missed everything so much when I was gone. 

When I landed if was sweltering in London. So I bought a cider and sat in the sun to read a book. Why kill a winning concept? 

After a couple of hours of sun kissed bliss this handsome man came down and we do what is almost law when hung over (him) and traveled for half a day (me) and bought more pizza than half a family could eat. 

Had to fight for my space on the sofa. But offering cuddles I was allowed in. 

Yesterday woke up, I had a business call that basically told me that instead of not having a team from end of August they now all leave early August. Contemplating panicking but the weather was just too good so George and me went to the park instead.

Let’s just say life is pretty damn brilliant. Woolly was knocked out by the head and happily stayed with us in the park for hours. Love that dog. 

Then Dani and Katta joined us and we went to E&O for s drink and later Kattas terrace for dinner and drinks. 

Lovely dinner and amazing girls (shit photographer though). Missed dani so much and now she is leaving me for SF. VERY sad face. Might just have to make sure work send me to the US.

We ate, I drank copious amounts of gin (need to take advantage of my holiday) and my two hairy heroes took a snooze, I must have run them ragged.
Life, seriously. You are just brilliant at the moment. 

Goodbye and thanks for the fish

Somewhat fragile today. As i should be. Because last night celebrated my second to last day at work. Now – 10 days holiday. Going to enjoy the shit out of those 10 days. But first manage to get up stupid early for bulgaria flight tomorrow.

This is me before drinks last night. Thats a girl dreaming of jägerboms. And other unholy things.

Im going to miss this crazy crew. We’ve had some seriously good times. But the good thing is that ill stay in touch with pretty much everyone in that picture. You have to keep the good ones.

Digby, me and jules sending angry pictures to Rocky for leaving. Im sure ill find him on my sofa every other weekend though so wont even have time to miss him. But still. Angry.

Albin came by to say hi as well. So nice to see him. He seems to be doing well in Sthlm even I miss him. Knowing sthlm hell be married and have kids within the year so need to use him for as long as i can before he is lost.

I drank ALL the jägerbombs. Because thats the kind of person i am. A jägerbomb drinking hero.

And gave my colleagues so much love. They are pretty damn awesome. Kola looking VERY happy with life Who doesnt getting some german and swedish kisses.

Getting kicked out of 3c when it closed headed up East to meet with George and Dan at Callooh. Finally got to give Dan his nerd trio gift. He almost teared up a bit. Mission accomplished – making grown, bad ass, rock and roll giants of men cry.

After getting kicked out of Callooh as well we decided it was finally time for home. Sensible like that. But i did make George give me a pickle back when i got home. Because still a kid. Seems like ill never grow out of that.

Felt like utter shit when i woke up this morning and stayed an extra hour in bed. Then i composed a limerick for George in the shower. I was so pleased with the use of the word asunder I had to write it down but now in hindsight I wish i would have used ‘tear them asunder’. Oh well, when i get famous and this is put in my memoirs ill make sure they change it.

Rocked up at work at 10.30 looking fresh ish. Now unhappily awaiting the goodbye speech and card. Almost worse than holding a speech yourself. Then freedom, as in, go home, pack and die in bed. 

some more wedding

Here’s a couple of more picture from the wedding and some where you can actually see the corpse dresses than turned out not so bad when we all had some colour. And hair. And make up.

Maybe not the fairies Filippa hoped we be but pretty cute anyway.

This is us trying to pose for the soap bubbles. Going so so. Lets just say the photo posing was not our strongest point during this weekend. We did better on the partying. And thats what matters anyway.

Beautiful. Glad someone got some pictures of the bride and groom since i totally missed that. Blame the whole bridesmaid and toastmaster thing.


Got my much needed sleep last night. My aim was to stay awake until 9 and I got caught up doing laundry and cleaning my room so made it to bed at 10. And because LAST week at work lazied my way through the parks playing Pokemon Go this morning and came in an hour late.

Woolly didnt mind the lazy of last night. At all.

Tonight’s my leaving drinks but im hoping it wont go too big given that im off mega early on friday night, our flight is at 5.30 am. And i feel the last 2 months travelling, not made out to be a international super babe.

At my last leaving do i had to leave at 10 due to drinking my own weight in flatliners. This time around i was sneaky enough to only invite people 2 days ago hoping not enough will come to get me horribly drunk.

Pray with me.

Bolst wedding

Ok. I survived. I did it. My big ass stress moment that’s been building up all spring. I have basically had a tiny lump of achy stress since February due to all the hen do’s and weddings and being toastmaster for Filippa and Erik was the big finale to the whole thing.

Knowing that the whole dinner is on your shoulders can break the calmest soul. Even mine.

But i aced it. Yes. I did. Admit to yourself when you do something well. And now its only one more wedding and then no more trips for at least a month. Bliss.

The last unresolved things for me leaving London was all the sparklers and confetti but Magnus (all hail him) managed to find it on the way to the wedding. With that the worst of the stress just melted away. I ended up with a feeling of ‘oh well, it’ll just have to be what is’.

Landing in Visby after 10 houts travelling I met with Sanna and visited her stand during Almedalsveckan and we decided to plant some trees in Africa. When on Gotland.

We then bussed out to Djupvik and after a lovely dinner with the rest of the closest wedding people crashed into bed.

On thursday it was a full day of organising. Magnus and me had to put the last of the things in place and write our introductions etc. Could have had a worse view for that.

After that we went to the ruin they were to get married in for rehersal. Bride and bridesmaid extravaganza.

Because we rock we aced the rehersal bit and in the evening it was time for drinks with all the other guests at a little fishing hut just by the sea.


We danced in the windy cold, ate whole roasted lamb and saffron pancakes and I was extremely happy i chose no heels

Took some beer and sunset selfies for George.

Around midnight we headed home since we all knew it was a big day tomorrow. Being sensible and grown up. My life these days. But, given that 10% of the wedding was pregnant and I kid you not at least 60% of all people there had kids i still felt like a massive kid.

In the morning headed to get our hair done. At 8 in the morning. No rest for the wicked.

I got Hollywood hair. Felt like a doll again. Twice during 2 months. Need to go full rock and roll asap.

Filippa looking beautiful as always

Bridesmaid trio!! Who knew when we all danced around on the bars down in Lund drinking ALL the shots.

It all went well. They said yes, we bathed in sweat and no one fell. I call that a success.

Then toastmastery. Sanna had given me a beta blocker before and that was magic. I was zero nervous. Me!? I invented nervous. Instead i breezed through it all and if I get to say it myself, did a great fucking job.

Magnus and me did our entrance to a fog machine and ‘Club cant handle me’ and then did a 10 min speech about Brexit and weddings. Then introducing all the speakers to different songs and ending it all with fountain candles and confetti canons.



Eriks dad accompanied the end song ‘Love generation’ on saxophone. Me and Magnus danced our socks off knowing that it was FINALLY over. We did it.

Lets just say i drank my own weight in shots and GT after that and by the end of the party Sanna and me picked up our onsies (i have my very own now. Life goal) and closed the party looking epic.

We also joined the bride and groom for the after party. Because its Filippa and Erik. And us. And a damn fantastic party.

On Sunday felt like this. There was nothing left. Im not entirely sure how i got through my 10 hours of travelling crashing into bed at 2 in the morning. But. Trooper.

Still at work on Monday and admiring the cute bracelet F gave us bridesmaids for our hard work.  And my almost tan.

In the evening George came over and since he is looking for a new job he spent most of the evening trying to get his portfolio in order. I helped by, well, doing nothing and giving him caffeine tablets.

At midnight me and W fell asleep on the sofa and by 3 woke up to crawl into bed.

George had to run off when i was in the shower and i came out to this little note. Love you too.

Only 3 more days at work now then the last wedding trip and then a week holiday. The stuff of dreams.

Hey stress

So, thinking im pretty ok with stress not having been stressed at work for like a year I have this wedding spring realised that is NOT the case. Add wanting to make your best friends happy, interviewing for a new job and travelling 5 weekends out of 6 and even i start sweating a bit.

Coming up to the last days before the most stressful one – the double whammy of being both bridesmaid and toastmaster, things have started to go wrong. In the ‘is there anyway i can pretend being sick and just not go’ kind of wrong.

But being a tropper (this is when Kixs likening of me crawling on my elbows no legs saying im fine rings very true) im going to rock this wedding. Might have to cry at bit in George’s arms first. But in the end rock it. 

Headed to Olivers studio last night to pick up dog and get some help with the artistic side of the shit that needs doing from the Holmses.

It was some serious artsy creativity going down. Glad I had the help because the result was excellent. Will show after the wedding.

Then came home and realised that half the things I need to fly over with is not allowed on the plane. Which is kind of ‘what the actual fuck’ because its basically too late to organise it any other way. Not sure how I will work this out. Try and distract the airport security personnel and run through.

So i popped a popper on Woolly. He just kept sleeping.

Among all the other things had to fill in some paper for new job and marvelled at the use of concubinage as a marital status in France. Just what.

Tonight getting the last couple of things sorted as well as dinner with the man before bye bye London. I have a crazy hope nothing more will go wrong but not holding my breath.

Busy being busy

Last night is not going to go down in history as one of the most productive ones. Even if its getting to crunch time with the wedding preperations. My first instinct of NOT going for a party weekend when you have shit loads to organise was right. Then I got side lined by all that sexy beard of my boyfriend and said yes anyway. Also, felt so grown up canceling BM i needed to prove to myself im still a massive kid. I am.

George, being awesome, decided to come down to mine after work so I bought ALL the food and then we did sofa time. And went to bed at 10. I was going to say ‘being that couple’ but realised that the only reason was that we didnt sleep over the weekend. I guess we are that couple but definitely not that other couple.

This morning realised that there is no putting off the shit that needs dealing with any longer so today busy doing all the things that should have been done long ago. Like getting shoes. That is at the bottom of my list though. See me rollin (in my own stress)


Came back from Berlin this morning. Its a good thing im just sitting off time at work at the moment because fuck me tired. So worth it though. And suspicions confirmed, me and George are an epic travling combo. Also potentially life threatening.

As soon as we sat down on the plane George did his eyes roll back, pass out thing and he slept all the way to Berlin. We were 2 hours delayed so after getting into to town, picking up the keys to Gs friends place from her parents, having a tea with them, finding the place and getting ourselves in order it was 1.30 at night.

Perfect Berlin time in other words. Because the whole city is like one big, crazy festival.

We went down the the closest bar on the corner, befriended the bartenders by drinking an inhuman amount of shots with them and met some Aussies traveling through Europe as well as an american named Josh.

Enough people for a party.

So at 5 we went to KaterBlau – one of all these too cool for school Berlin nightlcubs were you are likely to be scrutinized from top to toe and not let in for absolute no reason. Door bitch just looks at you and goes ‘why would I let you in?’ while looking at you like you are muck under her shoe.

We stayed at KaterBlau until 11 in them morning (love Berlin) and also ran into Gs swedish flatmate Sophie, non of them knowing the other was going to be there. Also talked to ALL the people (George) and danced for hours and chilled with Josh in the hammocks (me). You know your boyfriend is out doing his thing when people come up to you asking if you’ve met this awesome guy George.

Once or twice.

One of those nights…

Once home we stayed up until 2 talking shit (i also drank my own body weight in Gin so needed that out of my system.) That bed time meant sleeping to 6 in the afternoon before heading out for dinner and round 2.

Germany was playing Italy so we went back to our local bar, went back on the shots and met up with Gs Sydney friend Kon with girlfriend travelling Europe (yes, they are ALL here, i never noticed all those aussies around before but since George came into my life realising they are slowly taking back Europe. Sneaky.)

The game was crazy exciting and the boys were german for a night screaming as loudly as anyone else in there. Once the game finished George started talking to a guy in a epic jacket we had seen earlier in the day and we ended up joining him and his friends to a soul night before once again going to KaterBlau.

And lo and behold, first thing that happens is that George run into one of his old friends from Sydney. Told you so, they are everywhere. Or, its just my boyfriend knowing the entire world.

Stayed there until i gave up at 8 in the morning and went home and DIED. In the afternoon we walked around in the post apocalypse city that Berlin feels like, had som food, walked some more, had some more food and then home for a couple of MUCH needed hours of sleep before heading to the airpost at 5 in the morning.

Yeah. We did Berlin. But Berlin also did us. Big time.

Its hard to find new words for happiness

I don’t write at the moment. I’m too happy. It’s funny how happiness makes you not want to create. I think my inspiration lives in the dark cracks and in the sadness. But not if im too sad. Then im grey, lifeless.

A lot of artists create better in misery. It’s a place of introspection and self indulgery. At the moment I mostly want to be out. Be around people. Share this. My words happen around bar tables and on long walks. And i sound like every love song ever written. It’s hard to find new words for happiness.

I try. And i talk. But mostly i just smile and kind of save my happiness for a rainy day. I know London can be full of them. I even sit there on my sofa being. You know that you are in a good place when you are happy just being.

Things have fallen right. Aligned. Like stars.

Me and Katta walk along Scrubs. It’s that last light of the day and Woolly is hounding along the high grass. It’s not warm. London is cold at the moment and it rains every day. We talk about missing the sun. Wanting a tan. Laugh about the London bad.

Between the bad words, the jokey unhappiness there’s all the good. Katta smile about a cute guy that makes her feel something and I need to stop myself from once again talk, talk, talk. Then i end up doing it anyway. Because happiness.

Then Katta looks at me and says

‘I love being high on life’

and I can only agree.