Me too

I crashed when I came home from work last night. Had a snooze on the sofa before George came home. It’s hard work doing nothing in the country side. 

Or maybe it’s more because of all the emotions the #metoo campaign brought up. People who know me knows im an outspoken and proud feminist. I’m strong and independent and I stand up for the things that are right. 

The men around me have never questioned my self worth and my dad, my brother, my boyfriends have all treated me with respect and love.

But being a woman means you are not safe from the other side of men. The predatory, ‘I take what I want’ side. 

I posted this on FB yesterday 

‘Me too. 

How much do you share on a public forum? Do you talk about the time you dressed up as an angel, feeling very pretty, and someone held your wings and groped you between your legs saying you were asking for it and you hid away crying in the bathroom. Or the time someone pressed you up against a wall kissing you against your will and when you pushed them away laughed that you should be proud you make men not able to control themselves. Or the numerous times you’ve been groped, catcalled, called a slut, called a prude, called ugly or beautiful or just generally commented on by strange men. 

Do you talk about the times that are still too raw to talk about? The ones that leave scars? The ones that you barely talk about with your best friends but at least you share with them because they have similar experiences? 

I think we need to speak up. I have seen a lot of people post #metoo on here and if it can in any way help less women experience the things I have I’ll share my story.’

These are just some of the examples of when I’ve been made to feel small, to be ashamed, to be scared. There are worse than this but I’m not ready to talk about them yet. Not here, not like this.

It’s important that women speak up but it’s even more important than men learn to speak up when they see this happen. That they don’t try and shut us up when we share the fear and shame that follows us around in many situations. That they tell their fellow men to stop when they hear or see behaviour that is not ok. That we all work together to make sure no one should feel what so many women feel. 

Thinking, reliving and talking about emotions and experiences long hidden away is draining and even if I’m glad women are talking and men hopefully listening I’m so tired that it still needs to be this way. 

Mini me.