In my dreams

I dream quite often about George and me breaking up. In some periods its several times a week and other times its months in between.

Im always devastated in my dream. Keep fighting it. I have woken up crying and last night i was so angry that he had told me he loved me and then left me.

Its always he that breaks up with me in my dreams. Sometimes he explains why but most of the time its just that vague feeling of incredible loss.

Ive been thinking a lot on why this is. Its the first time this has happened to me. My previous experiences of dreaming about my relationships have normally been about feeling caught.

I think its because im so scared of losing this. I didnt think i would ever find someone like George or feel the way i do with him. My dreams are dealing with my fear of being left by the one person i cant stand leaving me. Not that i think that he will, but my mind is handling the loss if it would happen. Its dealing with my biggest fear over and over.

Instead of dreading these dreams i see them as a testament to the love i feel for George and how right we are for each other. Yeah, the dreams suck but at least its only in my dreams.

Its you and me baby

Lazy days

Had the laziest weekend ever. How i love summer. The days last forever and its an actually activity to lay on a sun lounger all day.

On Saturday morning i was a tiny bit hangy. Went for dinner with Ella, Moley and Katta at Anglesea the night before. And when Ella and Moley went home Katta and me went to Found.

We pased ourselves. Didnt go crazy. But i was Woolly free and then i kind of have to go out. So i had a coiple of delicious drinks before heading home around 1. A winner of a night.

When George left for work i left for my garden. My plan this summer of getting a tan (for the first time since coming home from Asia in 2003) needs some work. So thats what i did. 15 sunscreen all over and a couple of hours in the sun saw some success.

I also are ice cream. Thats another must when its 25 degrees. And hold your horses but I even did some exercise in the garden. The stress of earlier this year have seen my body just deflate into a couch potatoe so plan is to build up some strength.

Some. I like the 7 minute concept of work out. Anything else is too much for this hero.

Walked W in a swede outfit. Legs tanned enough for shorts.

I love this lil dude so much. And he doesnt even do anything. Still my heart is going crazy for him.

Sunday evening George came home after a week long crazy for World Gin Day with some gifts. We will be drinking some serious gin. Anyone wants a taste is welcome to our flat whenever. We have booze for days.

Reunited. George has been a man living in my phoen for the last week and since W dont have a phone hes been a man living in our bed and thats about it. But george gave him some chicken and now they are friends again.

Princess once again

Friday! Im meeting Ella, Katta, Tom and Moley for dinner tonight at Anglesea. Perfect with a west night when i want to take it easy in anticipation of the big party next weekend.

A GT in the sun yes please.

Got a haircut yesterday. As always its princess hair.

No matter what ill ask for the hairdressers will se a posh girl in there and give me Kate hair.

For two days a year i get to be a princess.

Today its back to normal and im looking like my normal slightly rougher around the edges.

My jasmine is flowering in the garden. The heigth of excitment in my life at the moment.

Weirdest thing about having a bit of a tan is that my eyes look really light. Not that you can really see it in this picture but its weird. Barely looks like me.

And this. 7 days and my nail polish still looks ok. I might have finally found a nail polish that i dont need to redo every 2nd day. Hallelujah!

This afternoon have been spent finding a gift for Frippen. I finally found him a t-shirt that lights up with the music. I was going to give him light up sneakers but itll take too long to come. Sad face. But instead he gets this epic panda LED t-shirt.

Winner!

Happy Sweden day

3 posts in one day! What is this sorcery? Its me being sick and feeling bad if i dont let you in on every minute of my life. Nah, every second. You are welcome.

No one scared of having their life on internet here…

Sick day two and i was very impressed with my new nail polish. As a notorious chipper and too lazy to book appointments im always casing the perfect polish that means i dont have to do my nails more than once a week.

And, this might just be it. Day 4 and it still looks like this. Essie gel cotoure. I will give you an update on saturday when its been a week but it still looks pretty banging (except for the chip where i stabbed my nail with the razor. Dont ask…)

There is also tomatoes actually being made in our garden. I feel like some kind of earth goddess with all my growing stuff.

And with the boom chicka bow wow ass too match.

Yesterday was Swedens national day. We celebrated with meatballs. Happiest were Woolly.

Then we left him behind and went up to Ekte in Bank for drinks and a scandi dinner. I love Georges job sometimes. Free swede food!

It was the swedish/danish/norwegian/finnish chamber of commerce doing a joint event.

This was the starter. A delicious skagen. The way it should be done. I was in food heaven and might have forgotten to breath for the time it took me to inhale that.

Main was danish frikadeller (like meatballs but bigger). Delicious as well even if my swede soul was hoping for proper meatballs.

Dessert were norwegian krum cake with cloudberry cream. And in this manner our culinary tour through scandi was ended with a kaffe and karsk (shot).

Thank you babe for inviting me. Im also getting my claws into the chambers people. My next plan is to get invited to the crayfish parties in September.

Love that its my aussie man getting me to these events.

Garden times

After all that raveing on Friday i decided to have a quiet weekend. Ive got a couple of big ones coming up. Gotland in two weeks and then midsummer. June is always a big one for liver and wallet. Swedes doing swede things celebrating summer.

On Saturday W and me chilled in the garden while George were sleeping. Mini man veeeery keen on that ice cream.

In the evening we had Lollo and Ella over for BBQ. Love these simple summer evenings when people come over last minute and it never gets dark.

The garden was blooming. You can barely see my little flamingo for all the roses and green.

Sexy BBQ man. When the girls had left we stayed out sitting in the garden sharing a drink. Perfect saturday evening in my book.

I also got lovely flowers from the girls so even our living room is filled with flowers. Or, we are living in a jungle as George says.

Feel like i havent told you in a while so here goes…

I love my garden!!!

On Sunday i started to feel a bit iffy but doggie still needs to get walked so put on my most summery outfit and dragged myself, dog and man to the park.

Showed George how to make a nose. Hes never put a nose on his nose before. And hes got such in impressive nose. He would have won the ‘how many can you put on’ competition we had as kids.

Doing it with style.

More garden times. Im actually getting a bit of a tan. Once ive proved that i can im happy to go back to my shade. We all know im not a sun person. I belong in a gloomy forest or in a dingy bar.

Its growing everywhere.

Some serious shwett.

Made George and myself some dinner with fresh tomatoes and herbs from the garden. Delicious if i get to say it myself.

Lured George out into the garden by holding the food in front of him. Sausages always work.

Team awesomeness

Back at work. So what better than give you a low down on the office party and Friday. Also Stevies last day (sadness!!).

He broke my tiny heart when he gave me a leaving gift. I dont think ive ever been given a gift from someone who is leaving before. Stevie, ill miss you. And also, clearly you know me.

We went for a leaving lunch at Mustard. Team is shrinking. Well, soon (ish) Natalia will come back from maternity leave and we will be at full force again. We need that polish sass.

Leaving drinks and gifts. This glass says ‘Good luck asshole’. Yeah, thats the kind of crew we are. Stevie taught us well.

Natalia left baby Sophie at home and came to party with us. BFFs reunited again.

And because our team are heroes Sita had made sure we had jagerbombs to last us the entire night. Thats serious dedication to the party.

This is the ‘oh god it starts’ face that comes with your first jagerbomb for the night.

Sad minchkins. It was tiki party theme so i ran home and got everyone the lays left over from our party. At least it makes them look festive despite those sad faces.

Pretty sure this is Toto Africa. Recognice those faces.

So, all those shots did their job and the party was in full swing by 8. I regret nothing.

After many hours of my tiki playlist, more drinks, many shots and scooting out the last of the people not in our team we were ready for the proper party.

Erin, Stevies wife, joined us. Good thing she came from a festival so she was in the same state as the rest of us.

Because i think we owned partying there for a while.

Happy team!! Love when you can have this much fun with your colleagues. Because they are the best. And sexy beasts all of them.

I mean. This dude…Belfasts finest.

He will be very missed.

CRM mum and dad and baby Sita. Im looking very happy about this divorce. Stevie not so much. I mean, he is the one leaving me. But, i get to keep the kids.

Not only are my team all kinds of awesome there are also some serious nerd chat to be had. Uday is not only the brother of the amazing cake girls, he is also The Best at nerd chat. We might have spent a serious amount discussing marvel movies and GoT.

Party people!

Thank you team for the best night ever. And dont worry Stevie, we will never truly let you go. We will stalk you forever.

Bill Murray you old scoundrel

Home sick. Again. Dont even want to think about why that is. Except that is quite telling that even if im out feeling shit I still need to work. There isnt really a break to be had from this company. At least not the politics surrounding it.

Woke up yesterday feeling properly under the weather so lit some candles and fled from the bed where my snoring man kept me awake.

Sexy face. Bathing in my own sweat what better than living in a bath robe.

After a day of in and out sleep i had to get myself in order since I had gotten tickets for George and me to see Bill Murray and Jan Vogler at Royal Festival Hall and I couldnt miss that.

Pumped myself up with pills and a headband being somewhat ready for the big world.

A very excited George in hos Zissou benie.

Bill Murray is another of George idols. I feel like my mission in life is to make sure he gets to see the people that inspires him.

Last minute tickets means all the way up in the nosebleed section.

Doesnt matter when its all so magical. It was truly amazing. I meeting of music and literature as well as Murrays whimsical comedic timing.

I loved the passages when he read from great american writers mixed with Voglers sublime (yes, im using that word) music.

If you want to read a review from someone who says it better than i ever will.

Then we walked home by Embankment looking at an enchanting London.

Coming home George adorned our fridge with his gift to me. Yep, made in Sweden for export. To London.

Then ready for bed again. I slept like the dead until i had to retire to the sofa again. Most of the time i have no issues with George snoring but when im sick it kills me. So slept on our very comfy sofa instead.

Todays challenge is not making work want to kill myself.

He is leaving us

Its D-day today. My main man at work, Stevie, is leaving the company. Happy for him, sad for me. He was the one that helped me through the bad times when everyone hated us in the beginning.

But cheers to him gaining his freedom.

To say that the team is excited for leaving drinks tonight is an understatement. Sita has bought jagerbombs and we are all going BIG.

Looking forward to redbull hangover tomorrow…

Last night had a quiet one. Picked up W and then the whole family had turkish on the sofa. I also spent some time out in my beloved garden. Its more and more amazing by the day. Growing and blooming and yesterday i had 5 smultron.

We are planning a BBQ on Saturday. Smallish affair. Like 6 people and just enjoy the fact that we have a BBQ, can sit outside and the garden is all kinds of awesome. Just need to survive the hangover.

This guy. Straight into my heart. Even if he is a furry nightmare sometimes i love him very much.

Other news in Cissi world – i found tickets for George to go see Bill Murray. His biggest idol. So on Monday its time. Should have been Xmas so that i would have nailed this year as well. Oh well, i have another 7 months to figure it out.

Also, one of Georges best friends are getting married in Sydney next year March. So off we go. Best time to travel so not unhappy about that.