So, im still waiting for my appointment with my GP to get my prozac prescription re issued. Not sure what happened but ive been without for about a month now.
For any of you who have ever needed anti depressants you know what that means. How unstable your mind feels when you dont have something to stabilize it. How your skin feels thin like paper and you blood rushes. How the fear of spiraling makes you…spiral.
With that said im actually ok. As in, im not at all at the bottom. See it as a phone battery slowly draining of life. Im still half full but need a charge soon. But, im also a bit like one of those iffy phones that start acting up when your battery is only half full.
Started crying to my chinese high school series yesterday. Because love and feels and all that. That turned into an ugly cry on the sofa because life is not as easy as high school drama. Poor W hid in another room. When i was done he put a little snout in my lap. Dogs for life.
Ha, this is me mentioning to George that ive written something on my blog and his mum calling at the same time. He totally thought she called to ask about it :). But she just wanted to speak to her awesome son.
Made chocolate balls yesterday. Half and half. Still pearl sugar in my heart though. Coconut just doesnt taste of my childhood the same way.
Also did a face mask. Working on that glow. I have quite a lot of friends starting to do botox. Getting rid of the wrinkles and looking younger. I know thats the sign of the times. Its kind of the mark of money and class these days to pay not to age. Not talking the kardashian way but generally. Most successful women make sure the hide the signs of ageing in a graceful way.
But i cant help loving my wrinkles. The 5 year old girl in me that loved my dads wrinkly forehead because it made her laugh wants that. Plus i also just cant. I dont like the thought of taking the decisions to alter myself for vanity. But hey, that might change. Im definitely fighting a losing battle against my greying hair.
Bought a new jacket for W. Its a bit big on him. Hes such a little skinny one.
Perfect set up. Grilled bagel, chocolate balls and Meteor Garden. I had to write Julia and tell her NOT to watch it halfway through because its so culturally frustrating sometimes. Its all about not going against the family, they still have arranged marriages, girls being cute and weak and liking sweet things and boys being tough and mean.
To be able to watch it i have to remind myself its not my culture and to be open minded to how others do it.