So, so tired

So, today is yet again a pretty tricky day. For a whole set of new reasons. Because life just cant give you a break.

I was told yesterday that im getting a new boss at work. That in itself shouldnt be that much of an issue but he is sitting in Paris and knowing how they’ve been trying to move me before and i have a feeling this wont be good news for me. Worst case my role move and i need to find a new job but hopefully i can stay even if i will be even further from making any kind of decisions in this company.

Im just hoping to keep the team here and due to everything with baby making hoping to not have to start a new role because obvious reasons.

More than anything i just feel tired. Knowing that whatever happens it will be a lot of uncertainty and most likely tricky months ahead either way. And, the months ahead are most likely going to be hard on me as they are without this added stress.

So yeah, today is not a good day. I will get through it, i know i will but i must admit im feeling very scared of the prospect of both fighting work (which i know is a nightmare when its tough) and potentially the mess of ivf.

It was very pretty out this morning. I took Woolly for a long, frosty walk after a somewhat restless night of sleep.

He was happy the little monster and it helps me spending time with him since it puts everything in perspective. In the end of day ill make sure he gets fed and is happy and everything else is kind of second to my little family.

It looked like a painting outside. All the colours of autumn. I was mentally preparing myself for telling the team. I honestly think they’ll be fine but its hard to be positive when you are stressing on your own behalf.

But im a master pretender.

London is dressing up for Halloween. Love this house where death is just casually chilling in a hammock. George and me are staying home tonight to watch Beetlejuice. Love that movie and its the perfect Halloween one.

Sorry for the negativity. I will be a happier one tomorrow. The good thing about bad days is that they always get better.

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