An epic birthday

The world is slightly tilted today. Quite hungover. Guess that was always going to happen when we went out and about London town and everyone wants to celebrate me with a shot. Thank you London. Also kind of fuck you.

Me on my way from work yesterday. Style inspiration was russian princess. Feel like i nailed it.

Just when i was about to walk out the door someone came with flowers for me. Not a secret admirerer but my very open admirerer from over the seas. Jules!! Roses, tulips and hyacinth. The smell!! Love it.

My house is now filled with flowers again.

Before we left the flat for dinner we decided to have a pickleback. Always to celebrate.

Yum, yum, yum.

Tube couple goals!

Before dinner we went to Home and Found for a drink. Because people are legends we they all gave me birthday shots and all the love.

Then dinner at Blacklock. They even had a birthday card for me. I mean come on, talk about being spoiled.

A plate of meat. Not unhappy about that.

And because George is a legend and everyone loves him we got the dinner for free. I think this is actually how it feels being a princess. Thank you my love for making that happen.

Then we went to two more bars. For more free drinks. Not needed. At all. But sometimes its fun not caring about the should dos. Like Mikey said ‘thats tomorrow Cissis problem’. True.

Came home, passed out and got drunken photos from George being very drunk in the bathroom.

Perfect birthday. Really was. Love my life.

More birthday

The best thing about birthdays (except for all the love maybe) its that SO much happens all day. Easy times. Here are some more pictures from the day and i havent even left work yet.

The dress George gave me. Photographed in a bathroom. Im classy like that.

Love it. Its long sleeved, ankle length and my favourite colour green. I know i have a lot of dressed but this is a more dressed one for autumn and spring. And it makes me feel pretty.

He might have been given a little push in the right direction for this…but he still chose from a lot of different suggestions and im very happy with his choice. Love it.

At lunch the team took me out for a bday lunch. We went to a newly opened italian resturant around the corner from work.

Not only did they treat me to lunch they also gave me very thoughtful gifts. Shizzle for my garden. Love it.

Haha, Natalia drawing Woolly.

A very happy birthday princess opening gifts.

And finding a hidden picture of Sita in there. Basically the best gift.

Love my team and really feeling the bday love. Not having been my best for the last couple of months, especially not at work, i always feel bad toward the team so this made me very happy.

Happy, happy birthday me

Happy birthday me!! Ive decided that im the most princessy birthday girl ever today. Nothing else is important today than enjoying the love from friends and family. Feels like a worthy goal.

My day has been off to a flying start. Woken by breakfast in bed and all the cuddles form my man and hound. George, being amazing, gave me a lovely green dress from stories and a massage. Its for Monday, the day before we go for the appointment. To help me relax. I dont deserve him…

And my phone has been going off like crazy all morning. The best things with birthdays is that you just feel loved. People send you that little thought and it warms. Especially in times when its easy to isolate yourself.

So to all of you. I love you too. I really, really do.

Came home yesterday to lovely flowers from mum and dad. With a cute glass vase as well. Will definintely keep that. With my love for flowers there are always loads around the house.

Gratilerer. This made me smile. Because its both wrongly spelt by someone here in UK but also norwegian spelling from my dad. Double awesome.

Tried to call and say thanks for the flowers but no dice.

So we had chill times on the sofa instead. There was leaving drinks at work but i just didnt have any energy and since there is dinner tonight, bday drinks for Sita tomorrow and bday lunch on Saturday i decided that i didnt have to. Look at me acting my age.

Family ❤

Told you, pretty banging wake up. Definitely birthday princess.

Ha, tried to psyche George by telling him he had to make me a cake. When he looked a bit stressed i told him one of my swede treats would do. And here we are. Vacuum cleaner galore. Yum.

Woolly was lessed impressed by all the bday shenanigans. So i gave him a treat. Ill make him love my bday.

Totally am. Party like a pickle.

Ha, like a little tired birthday package.

Yes, even the weather is on my side. Not my cold sore though that keeps bleeding all the time. February is cold sore month, think i have one for pretty much all my bdays. Oh well, still a princess.

All the grey

The day before the big day…Valentines…haha, nah, just kidding of course. Who cares about love when its all about me!?

This year i have warned George i want breakfast in bed after last years debacle when he didnt even give me a cup of tea in the morning not to mention any bday gifts. Im not a princess but hey, there is a minimum of bday glam to be expected.

Its not all about me this week though. Its a leaving drink at work tonight and a bday drink for Sita on Friday. We’ll see what i can be bothered to join, im old now, cant do 4 days in a row.

Yesterday i made George night by telling him we could order thai. I also made us some padron peppers. Excellent dinner if i may say so myself.

All the grey in our flat. Including Woolly. We are mud proof.

Ma boys chillin. We started watching Titans. Love it. I have been looking for a good super power teen series and here we go. Its all dark moody and broody but liking it so far.

Walked to the park this morning. In my PJs. I mean come one. I might be one day from 37 but im now a woman walking my dog in my PJs. I dont even know what to do with this.

Too tired in the morning though so will definitely happen again. Soz.

The 2 a month challenge

2 more days and im 37…that feels…not young. Im not really stressed about it since i love my life and feel very happy about where i am and all that. However, since my mum was 36 when she had me i have always said to myself that 36 is my latest to have a baby. Since i was like 22 and dreamt of a family 36 was always that far, far away top age where ‘at least ill have a baby by then’

And here we are. I dont really need to say more about it but it makes me sad. As i said before ive kind of stopped hoping to save my heart a bit so now when i look at the future is just this baby free fog where i cant really imagine what life will be like. There are so many uncertainties about the future with Brexit, ivf, work, flat etc that i have no idea at all what the future holds.

So life is lived by the week and month at the moment. Bday on Thursday, a little bday lunch on Saturday, doctor next week and then Paris and Sydney at the end of the month and thats about as far as i can see. I mean, doesnt look to bad from where im standing for the next month.

Heres a little update on my 2 clothes a month thing. Since i bought both my items before February even started its been a very shopping free month. Good for me.

The first one was the puffa jacket and the second one these curdoroy trousers.

I look like a 70s hero. Polo neck and flared curduroys. Thats certainly a look. But i like it, makes me feel like one of the cool kids on the block.

Last night we just chilled at home. Watched Mentalist and cleared the flat after the weekend. W was totally out of  it having been a bit stressed from all the baby stuff. He is definitely happy there is no baby yet.

Baby life

Ive got a crash course in having a baby over the weekend. It was all fine and dandy until last night. Felt iffy after the afternoon tea and couldnt sleep because naseous. Finally slept around 2 am and then Wolly woke up in the middle of the night barking. George got up to stop him and knocked over a cup of tea by the bedside soaking our clothes. Around 7 we all woke to a screaming baby since the boiler was off and no hot water.

So a chill 4 hours sleep later im not totally unhappy that there is no baby yet 🙂

But we had an absolutely lovely weekend and ive bonded with my lil goddaughter. We’ll do great things together.

On Friday dinner with these heroes at Havelock.

Teaching her all i can. Party moves.

After dinner and drinks we headed back to ours, drank tea and talked life. In my new, chilli vanilli less alcohol lifestyle tea is my bestest friend.

Mornings. Taking care of this little monster when mamma can shower, wash her hair and shave her legs.

Getting some help from very scary but also funny George.

and when all else fails the filters. Ive decided that godmothers can use phone distractions for babys that are in a very mummy phase.

Crawl training. This little one is totally motivated by food. Didnt work though, i think shell walk before she crawls.

Becoming bffs. At least from Vilmas side. Woolly was hiding away most os the time.

After walks on Saturday we went to westfields to find some shoes for F. Took a lot of work to keep her happy when mum was away doing other things.

In the evening we went for dinner at Andina and ate all the ceviche. After dinner we felt ready for one more drink but we soon found out that kids are not allowed in after 9pm.

WTF! and sad faces.

But, we are not known for taking no for an answer so went to Havelock for a night cap. Or three.

Plus shots. Its Filippa and me after all.

Waking up a tad hungover on Sunday but still ready to leave the house for Afternoon tea and Kensington palace.

Very pretty surroundings and Vilma was all dressed up ready to do some serious eating.

We choose the Afternoon tea.

And went straight for the scones since those are the best. Could do without the sandwiches and cakes to be honest, just want the scones.

I had dressed up for tea with the queen.

We took a walk around the pond before heeading home. On the bus the feeling sick came on fast and then i had to give up on the day and head to bed.

But, lovely weekend and so happy to get to spend so much time with my bff and my goddaughter. Come back soon.

Spring feelings and baby cuddles

Friday. I know i have been working from home two days this week but it has still felt endless. Maybe because weird fever, tiredness and now a cold sore on the up and coming. Aceing shit at the moment.

Honestly, if this is what its like trying to live healthy – barely drink, not smoke, eat vitamins, cut down on meat and fast i feel like ive been tricked.

At least we have our consultation booked with funny things like ‘learning how to do an injection’ and ‘medication plan’ in there. And after that i need to jump on a train to paris for a workshop.

But. Then. Holiday.

Filippa mentioned that maybe i should discuss with work to go down to 80% during the treatment and might be an option. Im so used to always work and always do 100% (and yeah, i know i barely work and all that jazz but its still a full time job managing 50 people with all what that means. Not stress free.) I guess its getting time to actually tell them about the treatment soon. Still kind of hoping for a miracle and that ill get magically pregnant without having to go through this.

Period came yesterday so hasnt happened yet.

Yesterday i picked some crocuses in the park before Filippa came. It was sunny and smelled like spring.

And then they came! Went to Hammersmith to pick them up. Finally meeting my goddaughter.

Hell yeah we are bonding. This is where you will flee when mum and dad are losers and you are 15.

Hanging out the whole little family.

Woolly not so sure though…’who is this mini person that screams and are stealing my mum?’

Stephen came over in the eveing and George made Bulgars Bad ass Bolognesi and perfect chill time at home. The others did wine, i did tea.

Tonight we are heading to Havelock for dinner and then a long weekend of baby hang out. Yes.

Celebrity visits

Im still not 100%. Yesterday i thought it was like a stress crash or something. I dont know. My body does weird things these days, but i woke up with a fever today as well so something is going on. My period is also lurking so hormones are glitching. Im glad there is less drinking and more eating planned for this weekend. We even have an afternoon tea at kensington palace planned for Sunday. Going all in british.

Anyways, Filippa and Vilma are coming today so no time to be poorly. Meetings, walking W, cleaning the flat, leaving clothes to charity and shopping. Feel like a stay at home mum. Im also putting more clothes up for sale and yesterday i cleared the bathroom. Look at me being all active. Flat still look like a thrift shop though. Always will.

Here they are. My goddaughter and one of my absolute best friends in the world. Cant be better than that.

Yesterdays extremely muddy walk. W is sitting next to me moaning right now since he wants to go out but need to do a meeting first. Then we are off to the land of mud again. Living the glam life.

Life on the internet

Here are some things that has either made me laugh, nod in agreement or just feel a bit sad over the last couple of weeks.

Me. Every day. I always had this dream of being a woman clad in white with perfectly tanned legs and no bruises.

My life couldnt be further from the truth.

Woolly. BFFs forever.

I mean, i know you have like -15 in Sweden but we actually had like -3 here for a night. Thats cold man.

Hahahahaha, this made me laugh way too much.

George every day i send him new pics of dogs i want to adopt. I know we cant right now but my heart for another little doggo to rescue.

Hehehe

My dream jumper. Couldnt find it anywhere though. Its my life…

Made me think of Sanna. This is what i believe she does with her life

Ha, no way im throwing away Woolly.

This, Is. So. George.

Sorry Woolly…

Nah, dont worry. Not even i would do that shit.

Fever dreams

I woke up with a fever this morning, from a proper fever dream. Without boring you with too much detail I was basically stuck in an old people’s home with all these old white men trying to take advantage of me in all kinds of ways exerting their power. The one woman I met who I thought was going to help me stole body parts from her victims and was planning to steal my future babies from me.

It was horrible. And too close to home in some ways. God, it’s not making it easy on my sleep how my mind is processing through horror dreams.

So I’m working from home today trying to get well before Filippa and Vilma comes tomorrow. We have a full weekend planned ahead.

Finally got hold of the doctor yesterday as well. We are seeing them for the final consultation on the 19th of February. This one is to actually set the treatment plan and plan medication etc. Hopefully no hiccups so we can start when back from Australia. I’m more than ready for this now.

Other than that nothing exciting my end. I’m selling clothes, clearing out, throwing away old make up and generally getting my life in order. I don’t know why but I have this need to clear and clean.

Probably because it’s the one thing I can control right now. Make sense for all kinds of psychological reasons.

More than anything can’t wait for Sydney and holiday. Sunshine ❤