Done and dusted

We are out of the egg collection. It was a full on surgery with sedation and cookies to wake up to. Winning.

We spent about 4h in the hospital including waiting time. Thank god for my man keeping me company and making me feel sexy despite the outfit…

Professional child poser. Liking my get up? Yes, those are compression stockings. Feeling fly.

George getting ready for his one contribution. You can do it babe.

I went completely under, can’t remember a thing other than discussing Star Wars and then waking up with a needle in my hand.

The sexy robot look.

All went well and they collected 15 eggs. That gives us some good chances. So now we just need to wait for them to mix with the sperm and make magic happen.

15 eggs on our wall. Fight little babies, you can do this.

Now me and my bruise are going to take it super mega easy. Feeling all woozy.

The bloat

Another day another dollar. Or rather another hospital visit. We went for another scan this morning and we are ready for egg collection. Taking the double trigger injection tonight (poor thighs) and on Tuesday morning at 8am we are off for the procedure.

Cross fingers guys.

Mother Goose is looking good, there is about 20 follicles maturing away. Some of them are too small to hold anything but at least 4 are over the cover line. Fight my little egglings, you got another 36h to grow.

George is all super positive about this and it’s rubbing off on me. Feeling good as well. I’m hoping we’ll get a couple of decent chances, I mean, there is like 3-4cm of eggs in me right now and all this bloatedness have to mean something.

George holding my tights up since they are too tight for that bruised belly.

Pretty flowers at home. Nice to have something to look at while living on the sofa.

I mean, this could be 20 eggs or like 20 babies… at least I’m getting used to all the bloating that will hopefully happen if I get preggers.

So at 9 pm tonight we inject me twice and then wait for it to do its job. This one is to start the release the egg and start the ovulation.

Then we hope for healthy eggs, that they mix well with the sperm and that we get some healthy embryos. And a football team of babies.

It’s all growing

Another scan this morning, it all looks good and maturing away. George calls me Mother Goose with all the eggs I’m carrying. I’m so bloated, you can almost see those eggs growing in there.

Then work, my manager told me he expects me to come to Paris for 2 days a week once this is done. Damn. I knew it would catch up with me sooner or later. I won’t even have the ‘can’t fly in third trimester’ excuse since it’s all train. Paris, guess I’ll be seeing a lot more of you.

Tonight seeing Avengers. Doctor on Sunday. Playing video games over the weekend. Living the high life.

My garden though. Here’s my lilac blooming away.

And all the little pots and plants. Someone had walked in one of them. I blame my hound. Or a cat.

Mmmm, gooseberrys.

Room full of sun, dogs and flowers.

Happy weekend guys. I see you at the other end of some scans and doctor appointments. Love.

Slipping through my fingers

First of all, sorry to those of you that are completely uninterested in all this ivf stuff. I hate reading about other peoples journeys, mainly because i feel like i jinx my own. Or i dont know. But its hard. So the stuff i read at the moment are about a life as far as way as possible from mine. Preferrable boozy single stories or failed tinder dates. Yummeee.

I feel better today. At work and trying to catch up. Feel like its all slipping through my fingers at the moment, hard to keep track. You know how i love to say i dont work. Well, im realising when i actually have to be slightly out of touch how hard it is and that my strength is that im pretty much always on top of things. At the moment i run between HR and my team trying to have half an understanding of what is going on.

Otherwise its all walking W (still, the most stupid time of Ol to leave town. Oh well, thats kind of always been his MO), sleeping, trying to drink enough water and finding food i want to eat. Another week until hopefully at least this step is over. And if not ill deal with that when it comes.

This is about as exciting my life is right now. Doctor in the morning and then at home. Good thing i have to shower and stuff, otherwise i might just crust over on the sofa.

Stu came over for food and hang out. We watched Ralphs wreck the internet and talked. Havent seen him in ages so awesome to catch up. And love when people come to me since i find it hard to be out in the evenings due to the injections and how they make me feel.

Bro love.

Hospitals and needles

Had a bit of a scare last night. After my second injections my abdomen started to hurt really bad. Like doubled over, crying from pain bad. And those of you that know me knows that pretty bad.

George was out but when he came back he called the hospital and they told us to go to the A&E. We spent about 2h there but there wasn’t much they could do. Other than me moaning and them giving me some serious painkillers. Since I have a scan this morning I’m going in to see if they need to put me under observation or if it’s expected for this to happen.

I’m taking the day off from work and will just sleep once I get back home. I’m exhausted after 4h of excruciating pain. More than anything, I just want to catch a break. Please body, work with me, not against me.

This is my nightly injection. It’s actually not as bad as it looks and you get used to it quickly. But, won’t lie, happy when it’s over.

Coming back from the hospital. It was not fun. Mainly because it’s so scary. Pain is bad but doable if you know what it is. It’s the panic when you have no idea what is going on and worried that something is wrong.

Just come out of the scan (yes, I’m blogging from the hospital, a lot of waiting around…) and all looks good. The pain are most likely from the treatment and I’ve been told I can take codein. Good times.

Currently 14 follicles maturing. That’s good news since that means 14 eggs. If all of them can be collected we’ll hopefully be able to freeze some for another shot. It’s quite a lot more since Monday so might be the reason for the crazy pain yesterday, everything on overdrive. Also took 4 vials of blood. Feel happy and drained and tired at the same time.

So now we are hoping for the 14 follicles to keep working away to make a chance for 14 babies :). Go big or go home.

The tiredness

The side effects on the injections arent too bad, i actually struggled with the oral hormones a lot more. But im tired. So, so tired. I sleep and i nap and chill and i still feel like a snoozy snoozer. Im on the double injections now and yesterday had my blood taken. Feel like a pin cushion. Any of you out there with a chronic disease, i feel for you. The constant hospital visits and medications. Bleurgh.

But, its only about a week left. Thats peanuts. Going to the hospital tomorrow and then Friday. The follicles are currently maturing so they need to monitor the progress. My left side (the one that is higher up) is being a bit slow so it seems it will be early next week now. My poor belly is getting a slight shading of purple from all the bruises.

A good thing is that i can keep going with the prozac. When you are on as low a dose as me you can apparently keep it up when you are pregnant as well. Basically, anything that helps you relax is a good thing. I hear you doctor. Living on those carbs. And ice creams.

As i said, all them carbs. The doctor told me to eat what makes me happy. And this makes me happy. And my belly as well, meds and it are not on good terms at the moment.

Cuddle times with Woolly. Its soo warm so hes super chill. Snoozes as much as i do. We hang in the garden until it gets too warm. Sorry guys, wont work on the tan as much this year, too hot for me and my sweat attacks at the moment.

Waiting for an afternoon walk with Katta. Oliver is away this week so its full on W times. For the first time in my life im strugling with the walks. Thats how tired i am, ravenscourt is a killer and i have to SIT DOWN. That shit is crazy.

Ha, killed him too though. Until we woke up and it was time for another injection and another walk.

Sorry to everyone that im such a shit friend at the moment. Its hard to make plan due to the injections etc plus stuck in my own little world. I promise ill be a better friend when all this is over.

Egg-citing times

I’m on the dual injections now. Morning and evening. It’s definitely starting to become quite tough on the body, I’m just tired. Dizzy in the afternoons. Low on energy and emotionally all over the place. It’s a joyride.

Good thing we are in the middle of a long weekend and I’ve been able to rest and take it easy. We are blasting through mentalist and I’m reading an awesome sci-fi book my colleague Anton lent me. And I get all the foot rubs I want. If you are going to feel shit do it in style.

We did have people over on Saturday though, maybe a bit too much at the moment but I’m nothing if not stubborn when I want to.

It was so sunny and since our garden gets way too hot we had the umbrella up while doing all the egg painting. Crew getting in on the action.

Baby Sophie was there wreaking havoc on the garden and her parents.

Making Easter crowns and bunny ears.

Some serious egg painting skills going on here (yes, bought some stickers for us creatively challenged people).

Easter queen. I made Skagen and potato salad with dill plus sausages and shopska. Plus all the Easter candy of course.

Anton came over with little baby Kyra. She’s Swedish, Russian, Chinese and English. Loving these international babies.

Stealing the baby.

It was pretty much all surviving in the garden heat drinking pimms for the cool kids and virgin pina coladas for me.

Amazing having everyone over but I crashed around 6. Sometimes I try a little bit too hard for what I can actually handle.

So Sunday ended up being a day on the sofa missing out on kixs bday in Richmond. So sad to not see her but there was just zero energy left.

So I read my awesome book, got some sun in the garden and watched TV.

Oliver is off on holiday this week (perfect timing…) so we have W full time so all the walks. My body is getting really tired now so it’s all a little bit slower but i guess that’s good practice for hopefully getting pregnant.

Happy Easter holidays guys. We are currently at the hospital doing some blood tests and scans to end the long weekend with.

Easter love

Happy Easter!! We are currently planning our little Easter lunch and I have promised Skagen so need to head over to Tesco soon for supplies. If you are going to be spending Easter in London it doesn’t hurt that it’s all sunny and lovely out.

W and me playing in the park yesterday. He looks terrified poor soul.

And I’m an absolute bad ass now. When I was little my dad used to tell me how in the military they had to learn how to do injections on themselves and I remember thinking it was the most hard core thing I’ve ever heard.

Look at the now. Outfit on point, blue nails and injecting myself into the belly. Feeling like a modern Viking woman.

I’m feeling ok off the back of this stuff. Get a bit light headed in the afternoon but that’s about it.

But back to it being spring and long weekend and lovely. Even the lilacs are blooming and smelling of all things dreamy.

After our massage yesterday we came home, cleared the flat up and opened the garden properly for the season. A little test run before today.

Haven’t seen Caro since Dani’s wedding so lovely to see her. And Lollo is always a treat. Love all the awesome women in my life.

Injection times

First round of injections done. It wasnt too bad. I mean, a needle into your stomach but hey, im pretty hardcore. And, it doesnt hurt that bad to be honest.

So far feeling ok. Sweating like a pig but otherwise good. The other pills made me a lot worse. But, i have two more different meds to get before all is done. On monday we have the next scan and then by next week we are hopefully going through the surgery.

Had a bit of a breakdown at George yesterday when he came home late for the injections. Felt so stressed about doing myself the first time and freaked the fuck out. But he made it with 30 min to spare so got help from my trusted nurse. We also cancelled tonights plan since it means i would have to bring the needle and do it out which feels a bit dodgy. Its a full on needle in your stomach so rather be at home for that. Plus we need a specific trash can for the needles.

Long weekend coming up. Super chilled. This is probably the easiest long weekend ive ever had in London. No plans and just sitting at home. Not 100% sure of my new life. However, we have the Easter lunch on Saturday and Kix is in town so might see her on Sunday. And then hopefully good news on Monday.

My colleague is also a hero and have lent me 3 books for the weekend so ill be all set for reading in the garden.

W came into work with me. Killed our trusted dinosaur and then fell asleep. Job well done hound. Hes like a little celebrity in the office. Everone loves when he comes in even if he barely says hi to people.

This is the set of blending needles, medication and solution. Looking pretty bad ass.

George getting the needle ready for injection. 150 straight into my little belly pouch.

And theres the little needle mark. As i said, not too bad. The mark hurt quite a lot but nothing i couldnt handle.

W is being the sweetest little hound at the moment. He wants to sleep so close all the time. And me, i pretty much look translucent. Thank god there will be some sun this weekend.

Happy Easter guys!

Hello there lil pouch

Went to the doctor for our baseline scan today. Its to determine if everything looks good to start the injections. It did! Woohoo! So now we are a go for the next step. Tonight George will put that first needle into my little belly pouch.

Speaking of belly pouch. Im working on that baby. Rather have the needle in a little happy pillow of fat than straight into the muscles. First time im loving that little happy space with the love it deserves.

Had a little work related breakdown yesterday. Im just stressed by all the changes and knowing that i need to go to Paris a lot. Keep putting all other life related questions away in this journey but yesterday it washed over me. Work, where should we live, Brexit. All of that shit.

But, today im back to thinking positive thoughts. Its all i have. I know it will all end up good, just need to wade through some shit first. I can do that, im a pro shit shoveler.

What better than a 2000 pieces puxxle to take your mind of things.

Its huge. And i dont think we’ll ever finish it. But it does really work because hard to think of anything else when doing this.

This morning waiting at the doc. George is getting to see some real exams here. Joint uteris scan  – check.

We have booked a couples massage for Friday. We both need a little stress release. Works perfectly in our Easter staycation here in London.