A long journey

Having dinner with Katta tonight. I need to see her as much as possible before she leaves. It will be empty here in London 😦

I wrote about our ivf journey on instagram today. An friend of mine texted me privately to thank me for talking about it. Shed done the same treatment to freeze her eggs and found it very hard and lonely.

I just want there to be no shame with this kind of treatment. Because there isnt. You cant help what happens with your body. But if people refuse to talk about it or whisper half heard gossip it becomes shameful. And you feel lonely. It hard enough as it is.

The same way im not ashamed of my struggles with depression im not ashamed that out bodies didnt really cooperate to have a baby. Instead im extremely grateful to modern medicine and a hospital system that gives you the help you need.

And to family and friends being supportive through this. Becasue as my friend who texted me wrote ‘i was not prepared for how hard it was going to be’. And it is. Its a bit like going to war against your own body. And your mind. So please, if anyone ever talk to you about their struggles to conceive or thinking about freezing their eggs, listen with an open mind hold their hand in the storm.

With the happy outcome of that journey its easy to forget the pain but a part of me will always be marked by those 18 months.

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