Today is not a good day. Thats fine. I know how to handle bad days. I will go straight home after work and watch tv and go to bed early. And then tomorrow can be better. The good thing about bad days is that it has to get better. Eventually it always gets better.
Told you i killed my tomato plants.
I know this makes NO sense but right now it feels like a sign. Like i cant give anything life. Yeah, brain is in a funky place. You do not want to visit my dreams at the moment.
Had a mini break down with George when he tried to say its not that big a problem.
To me it is. I have channeled all into this when my spring was tricky (all of March is a bit of a blur) and it dying now, when i need something else to focus on walking around here in London with no holiday in sight, is just…no.
So yeah, its is that big a deal.
Not to mention my peppers. Dont even have energy to care about these poor bastards.
George is the best though. He gives me uber schwetty hugs and tell me everything will be alright. And when i hide in his armpit i kind of believe it.
Look at this lil dude. He is the cutest thing i know. I wish him, George and me could go and hide in the countryside for a week. Im sure G would go crazy and W would chase sheeps and i know it wouldnt fix anything but it feels like a physical need.
Ha, he is not actually angry at us. Or maybe he is. No room on the sofa AND we have washed the covers so it doesnt even smell right any longer. Bastard hoomans.
Also, dont worry about me. These things happen to people and i promise ill be back to normal soon. I think the double whammy of heat and my period being seriously delayed (not preggers, just body not working properly) means im in hormonal crazy land.
Maybe my depressions needed to happen for me to be ready for this head held high and heart ready. Im strong and i have the bestest guy by my side and we’ll deal with this like queens (yeah julia, we did watch some RuPaul).
Over and out, see you on the other side of this weekend.
Letters to my family 